Here’s the big misconception…Finding the right spouse = finding the perfect person for you. The truth is there is a lot more to choosing someone to share your life with than most people know. And it has less to do with waiting than you might think.
If your heart is longing to find that special someone to talk with, dream with and enjoy life with, you may be on the brink of discouragement. Maybe you’ve even fallen into the trap of praying, waiting, feeling lonely and discouraged, then repeating the process all over again. You may even be wondering…
Can I find the right husband or wife and live happily ever after?
There are four steps in a foolproof method for finding the right spouse. Let’s begin with…
Step 1 — Become the Right Husband or Wife First
God’s commands about relationships are pretty simple:
Think about others far more than we think about ourselves.
So, if you’ve been praying and praying to find the right husband or wife, but you find yourself single year after year, it’s time to do this.
Become the right husband or wife first.
Just like any other relationship, the quality of your marriage has a lot to do with…YOU.
Perhaps Zig Ziglar put it best: “Doing the right things with the wrong person can make the wrong person the right person, and doing the wrong things with the right person can make the right person the wrong person.”
Did you catch that?
As you stand in faith and believe God to bring you a husband or wife, you can prepare your heart to receive by studying how to become a good spouse. How?
- Finding books or other resources that teach you how to love a spouse.
- There are specific needs that wives have that are different than a husband’s needs. And vice versa. Begin finding out what they are and start practising!
- Meet with one or two successful couples who have been married happily for a long time. Ask them what you need to know and how you can best prepare your heart. If you’re a man seeking a wife, ask what a husband should focus on, and if you’re a woman, do the same about being a wife.
Then, work to become that person.
By doing so, you’ll be positioning yourself to receive from God. You’ll be sowing toward your desired promise.
Step 2 — Make Spiritual Growth Your Top Priority
If you’re looking for a mate, here’s something you need to know…
It is God’s will for you to find a husband or wife (Genesis 2:18). That means you can count on it.
Like anything else, though, your relationship with God is key. Though it may be tempting to focus all your thoughts and attention on what’s missing in your life—do this instead…
Make spiritual growth your top priority.
When you seek God first (Matthew 6:33), all these things—spouse included—will be added to your life. That’s a pretty good deal, if you think about it. You spend time praising God, reading His Word and listening for His voice; and He takes care of the rest.
That leads us to…
Step 3 — Resist the Urge to Rush the Process
Have you ever heard the saying? “Give me patience…and I want it now!”
When we want something…we want it, right?
But here’s the danger in approaching your desires with an impatient heart—impatience gives birth to Ishmaels. That’s just what happened with Abraham. When God’s promise of numerous descendants through a child didn’t come to pass quickly enough, he decided to hurry the situation along by having a baby with his wife’s handmaiden. This child, named Ishmael, caused a lot of trouble (and his descendants continue to do so today).
Rushing into any situation ahead of God will never bring about the results He has in mind for us. So don’t rush the process when looking for a husband or wife. You don’t want an Ishmael for a spouse!
Rushing into a relationship because of loneliness or watching one friend after another get married can lead to a lifetime of heartache. Since marriage is for life, as God intended, this decision is the most important one you’ll ever make—second only to making Jesus Lord of your life.
On waiting for the right mate, Gloria Copeland says this:
“Faith with patience wins. Sometimes it takes a while to believe God. If you’re believing for a mate and you believe you receive when you pray—if a month or two goes by, do you say ‘Well, it’s curtains. I’m never going to get married. I’ll never find him?’ No. You just keep standing where you are. That’s the way we do anything by faith.”
Don’t give up. Your husband or wife is on the way!
When you do meet someone…
Step 4 — Look for Good Character
How can you know when you find the right husband or wife?
Aside from a peace in your heart from the Holy Spirit, there are some character traits the Bible tells us to look for.
1. A Christian should marry a Christian, not an unbeliever. (2 Corinthians 6:14)
2. The right husband or wife will not be easily angered. (Proverbs 22:24)
3. The right spouse will be patient, kind and not easily offended. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Good looks, a sense of humour or an adventurous personality are fun initially, but don’t let them blind you to the character traits that stand the test of time. At the same time, just as you aren’t perfect, you can’t expect your future spouse to be either. Part of your job in loving your spouse is to give them the kind of grace you’ll surely need yourself.
When you use this foolproof method to finding the right husband or wife, you can rest easy that when you hear wedding bells, your new life partner (and new best friend), will be by your side. We here at Kenneth Copeland Ministries are standing in agreement with you that you will find the right husband or wife and be blessed in abundance in your marriage!
Watch Kenneth and Gloria Copeland teach you why it’s so essential to start believing when you pray.