Conquering Grief: How To Let Go and Not Lose Control
In the past several months, so many of us have been reminded how thin the line is between life and death.
With the onset of COVID-19, even down to recent weeks, celebration of life services for family members and friends have been delayed due to overwhelming numbers of fatalities caused by the virus.
Thankfully, although the line between this life and the next may seem unnervingly narrow, God and His promises for safety and protection, healing and health, life and longevity, are solid and sure, true and reliable. As believers, we don’t have to cross that line until it’s time, and we’re ready.
But when someone you know and someone you love steps over from this world into the rest of eternity…
How do you let go, and not lose control? How do you mourn their absence, and not lose your presence? How do you respectfully and mindfully move on?
Here’s how to conquer grief, let go and not lose control.
Don’t Be Overwhelmed
The Apostle Paul addressed this issue for the believers of his day nearly 2,000 years ago, and the revelation of it still holds true for us today:
“Brothers and sisters, we want you to be quite certain about the truth concerning those who have passed away, so that you won’t be overwhelmed with grief like many others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, we also believe that God will bring with Jesus those who died while believing in him…. So encourage one another with these truths” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, 18, TPT).
Maybe you or others you know have experienced that feeling of being “overwhelmed” with grief. Certainly, the world has had the opportunity in the past couple years.
Though he was writing to people who were in relationship with God, Paul still had concern for their well-being. He understood that grief can be a killer. If un-confronted, it has the potential of becoming a destructive stronghold in our souls – even producing sickness and disease in our bodies. If left unchecked, it can take out a life just like death does.
Jesus experienced this firsthand.
Just as He was about to begin His journey to the cross, Jesus went to His favourite place to pray. It was there where He got honest with His Father and asked if there was any way around His having to be arrested, tortured, crucified and cast into hell. When it was apparent that the answer was no, He got just as honest with His disciples…
“My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (Matthew 26:38).
Grief can lead us down an unhealthy path of vulnerability, a path where our emotions are directing our steps and our destiny, instead of our Holy Spirit-filled, born-again spirits leading us.
Again, Paul’s point: Don’t go down that road. Get control of yourself. Remember you have a future and a hope – in heaven, with God, and with believers who have gone ahead of you (Jeremiah 29:11; 2 Corinthians 5:6-9; 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17)!
Celebrate Life
Kenneth Copeland often says, “Don’t feel sorry for anyone who’s gone to heaven.”
From God’s perspective, the death of any of His saints is precious and glorious, something to be celebrated (Psalm 116:15, NKJV). It was that sense of joy that empowered Jesus to press through His grief, avert premature death and fulfil His purpose during the allotted time He had on this earth (Hebrews 12:2).
Certainly, anyone’s death impacts the world, one way or another. And as a being created by God, loved by God, cared for by God – everyone’s life has value. Now that they’re no longer among us, yes, they will be missed, and it’s important to acknowledge that.
However, it’s just as important for those of us who remain to look beyond the grief – just as it was for Jesus – and embrace (by faith) all that God still has for us.
So, while grief is a normal, natural response to a sense of “losing” someone or something, understand that the devil tries to pervert it by turning it into an unhealthy stronghold in our lives.
Don’t let him get away with it. Don’t let him manipulate you through your emotions.
Instead – long before you attend another home-going service or get around death – pray over yourself, declaring that by Jesus’ blood the devil (as well as death and grief) is defeated (Revelation 12:11).
Then, rebuke the spirit of grief away from your life and your family by using the authority given you in Jesus’ Name (Matthew 28:18; Mark 16:17-18).
Finally, control your thinking. Control your mind by telling it what to think – and you can start by reminding it how Jesus bore all your griefs and carried all your sorrows (Isaiah 53:4; 1 Peter 2:24, NKJV).
Walk through these steps over and over, and you will build up a healthy stronghold of God’s truth about death, giving you the vantage point of how He sees it. As you gain God’s perspective – when the time comes – you will be able to let go of a friend or loved one and maintain control over grief.
Then, you will truly be free to celebrate life!